If you haven’t read the latest post, I understand. Humans have limited time. But be warned: I’ve added boring images of text editors, so if you want to impress someone looking over your shoulder, keep it open in a tab just in case so you and I can both pretend that code I wrote 6 months ago is still readable.
A lot has happened this week, but I’m not going to cover everything in detail, as most of it is technical. Instead I’m going to talk about the human factor.
Achtung: foul language ahead, because you know, this week generally kinda sucked in France so let’s get hype and rude about completely unrelated things.
You’ve been warned.
What the fuck am I waiting for
First off, humans are busy. They don’t like to wait. So I made the loading faster. Much faster. Like 20x faster. Seriously.
Look at this bar. Just look at it. I went through so much trouble to get there that I don’t even want to move on to the rest of the article. JUST LOOK HOW GODDAMN FAST IS THAT SHIT! LOOK AT IT!
Humans also don’t like to read long paragraphs about things they can’t relate to directly, so for instance I won’t tell you about:
- Lookup tables for fast edge detection
- More lookup tables for edge neighbor detection
- Pre-cooking of the 256 possible polygons
Instead I’m just going to tell you: it’s fast now. It’s okay. We can all breathe.
Also you don’t get your feet stuck in the ground anymore because physics engine are retarded but it’s okay because they’ve got ways of making them understand that this goddamn segment is next to that other goddamn segment and stop ruining my amateur speedruns on my pre-alpha game thank you very much.
Where the fuck am I
Of course the shit that’s loading in that bar above isn’t just one room. It’s a boatload of rooms. Because it’s fun to roam and explore and shit.
When we were using Mother Theresa of world editors we were annotating each room with teleports on the sides and shit but fuck that, I’m not remembering numbers, what am I, an engineer?
So instead, BAM, minimap. Now you know where the fuck you are. The only thing it doesn’t tell you is where the fuck you’re going.
Of course it’s buttfugly because it’s not like I make huge worlds everytime I have to test that a goddamn triangle has all its mothereffing edges in the right places. So, you know. I’ll make it pretty later.
Oh and you still have to remember a few numbers when you want to make doors or non-linear passages like a corridor that loops forever, a-la Mario, the original non-linear platformer. But that’s okay just take a fucking notepad or something. Or wait till I implement a bookmark system or some shit.
Shit’s gonna be fine. Damn fine.
How do I stamp that shit proper
This week’s the week the main designer took a few hours out from under the enormous pile of damned work he’s got to do, to make a few scribbles so the update didn’t look like complete shit.
Of course in the end, we’re both big and lazy so we need some smart tools so we can minimize the amount of clicks we need to do to get something not completely awful looking.
So now you can select any number of tiles from a tileset either by dragging or ctrl-clicking or whatever incantation works on your OS, I don’t know, Apple fucked it up anyway I never know if the next shortcut is going to start making an exposé or rearrange my internal organs by wetness.
It’s not quite Unity prefabs but hey at least it’s free. Stop complaining.
How the fuck do I send shit flying around
We’ve received numerous letters from fan after our last blog update, and it seems the primary concern of our target audience boils down to: Amos, that’s all well and fine, but I don’t think the character is sending enough shit flying around.
Since I live to serve, I threatened @bigsylvain to start cursing in every blog update if he didn’t draw one or eight goddamn dust particle thingy so I could rotate scale alphaize and generally mutilate so it doesn’t look so goddamn robotic.
Now tell me that shit doesn’t look cool. Say it to my face. C’mon. It’s almost as if this thing was slowly turning into a goddamned game or some shit. We truly live in amazing times.
How the fuck do I conclude an article
I’m running out of shit to curse about so I’m gonna fill in by just embedding the main screenshot for this update again so you get a second chance to take a look at this caffeine-fuelled wonder. I take full credit for the hazardous architecture of the thing — and make absolutely zero collapse-related guarantees.
Is that shit from India? Romania? China? Who the fuck knows. That mountain looks kind of mysterious and eerie and shit though, sign me up for a hike on this fucker any day.
Hell, this brownie church even has wheels on the top so if the wind hits it a little too hard it can always roll its way over to wherever it needs to go.
Now you can do one or two things: you can buy this godforsaken doggonery in early access and hope it turns out even half-playable by the time some incurable disease finally gets either of us, or you can wait for next week and see what fucking happens.